Things you need to do to move on in life

There are many times in our lives when we feel there is no hope left, or nothing is going our way, no one loves us, or the person we love doesn’t love us, feel betrayed, or lost. And believe me speaking from experience I know it’s going to happen way more than once in your life. There’ll be circumstances that break you, people who betray you, times where you feel you life’s going nowhere. You feel like a complete failure, like you’ve not achieved anything. You feel like giving up.

DON’T

Also do not expect someone to be there for you forever. I am not saying you won’t have friends and family by your side. Or they won’t help you out in any way they can. But trust me you will come across situations in life where you have to fight out on your own. You need to figure it out. If you expect to be spoon fed whenever you’re in a sticky situation in life, are the one who gives up easily.

YOU ARE A SCREW UP!! A. SCREW. UP. GET IT!! A BIG ONE AT THAT!!

You just CANNOT give up!! And when I’m writing it in Caps, please imagine me screaming coz that’s how I feel like doing when I feel like giving up. Let me tell you something about me. I’m an extremely emotional person. When I say emotional I mean it. I can kick someone’s ass if they screw with me but when I’m hurt from inside I cry .. like hell. I cry when I’m happy, sad, upset, angry, depressed, disappointed, or when someone I care about is disappointed in me, or they’re rude to me or wont talk to me. And most of the times even I feel that its pointless to waste tears on these little things. I mean .. hey, life’s supposed to be enjoyed not cried over!!!!

  1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself: I have this thing I used to do .. still do . feel sorry for myself for all the screw ups that are happening in my life. You know.. like why me ?? why did this person hurt me?? Or why was I betrayed? WHY was I lied to ? why did this tragedy happen to me ? and so on & so forth. You know it’s really not gonna make ANY difference to your life if you keep feeling sorry for yourself. It NEVER works. Someone broke your heart, get over them, cry over it once and for all and let it go, someone betrayed you or lied to you, fine, it’s not like we’re saints we’ve also hurt or lied to people, get over it, make better judgments next time. You lost someone, it will take time, but you’ll learn to live without that person (I lost my mum when I was 13.. today I’m 24). Take the good memories. The person you lost wouldn’t want you to stop living your life
  2. Start afresh: You think you failed in something you tried!! Well, news flash! We all fail in something or the other. At work, in relationships, in personal commitments, on deadlines, in exams, you name it. I bet everyone reading this will have failed at least once in something or the other in life. It’s NOT the end of the word guys!! Life’s boring without any struggles, you’ll never learn anything. So what if you’re learning the hard way, it’ll make you better at that thing more than anyone else. You failed an exam, ok, try harder the next time, you screwed up at work, analyze where you screwed up and work on it so you don’t make the same mistake again. Try.. keep trying till it doesn’t work it will work out. You took the job because you wanted to make something out of yourself, you had dreams, aspirations, goals…you’ve just started your journey and it ain’t gonna be easy. You are yet to achieve things in your life. Work towards them. You will soon enough. J
  3. Take up a hobby: I know things aren’t going great. But they get better sooner or later. They always do. Nothing in this life is permanent. Not even your life. There’s no point in being depressed about it. So take up a hobby to divert your mind, or take you mind off the things that worry you. Do something you like to do: read a book, cook/ eat your favorite food (order in, if you can’t cook), dance, listen to music, watch a movie (please don’t watch a depressing one, you’ll feel more depressed, preferably watch a comedy that loosens you up.
  4. Talk to someone: we human beings cannot survive in isolation. Remember school!! Humans are social animals. Yeah! It’s true. What good will it do to you by just talking you ask? Go try talking to someone.  Anyone. But someone who just doesn’t hear you out but LISTENS to you. Remember there’s a difference between hearing and listening. Also when you talk you feel better, you’re lightened up. If you bottle up your feelings inside you, it will be a disaster and the day you fill up that bottle more than its capacity, its gonna burst and all hell’s gonna break loose. And it’ll leave you more depressed than ever.
  5. Ask: for help, for opinions. There’s nothing to feel ashamed about asking for help. If you admire the way someone works ask for their help. If you think things didn’t work when you tried your way, try someone else’s way. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid. It just means you’ve accepted that you need help, and you’re ready to learn & improve.
    65620
  6. Set up goals: Ok so you failed this time. Again. You tried what you thought will work in your favor but it didn’t. Fine. It’s ok. All’s not lost. Try again. Set up smaller goals this time. Everyday goals. Wake up every day with a goal in your mind. Something that will help you achieve your weekly goal then monthly then quarterly, half-yearly, yearly, and in the end your life’s goal. Things will work out.
  7. Write them down: just having goals isn’t enough. We as humans are big time procrastinators (hey I am, and I refuse to believe I’m the only one). We tend to “postpone” or “forget” things. And then when things work out e blame everyone but ourselves. So write it down, and ensure its somewhere that’s visible to you every day. If you look at what you need to do to achieve your goals every day, you will achieve them. That sheet of paper will remind you every now and then what is yet to be achieved.
  8. Stop expecting: stop expecting things from others. Just don’t. It’ll ease most of your worries. If you’ve done something nice doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you. If you’re polite doesn’t mean they’ll be the same to you, if you like spending time with them or talking to them doesn’t mean they do the same. Learn to figure out the signs. A person doesn’t talk to you? Cool. Let him be. There are other people who would talk to you. Don’t fret over whether or not you’ve done something wrong or why isn’t he/she talking to you? No point. If they’re not talking they’re not. You can’t force someone to like you nor can you force someone to make you a part of their life. If they want you they’ll also try to make things work, put in an effort. If not, then well its their loss.
  9. Smile: turn that frown upside down. Smile on the smallest of joke. Smile by remembering good memories, smile with the people you care about and who care about you. Try to smile even when you’re sad. This heart of ours is a little naive, if you keep telling it all is ok and try to smile that fake smile automatically becomes a real one as you begin to see a ray of hope once the tears are wiped off.
  10. Stop over assuming: hell stop assuming in the very first place. Stop assuming that, that the person who’s not giving you time ever is really busy. Open your eyes & ears. They DO NOT wanna talk to you or meet you or help you. It’s just an excuse. If you feel the person you knew hasn’t changed he just you know has different priorities now or has a different life or whatever. Then you are failing to see that the person has changed for you. Your priority level in that person’s life has diminished. If he/she isn’t responding to your calls or messages, that person does not WANT to respond. No one will be SO busy that they cannot call or reply back for days in a row. If they do not care about you, then you need to stop caring. Instead replace those kinds of people with the people who actually care about you and love you. STOP assuming that they still have place for you in their hearts, who are you kidding really?? No one but yourself and because you’re being blind to ALL the obvious signs, and refuse to accept the truth then it doesn’t mean that it’s not the truth and one day when a harsh situation hits you and THEN when you accept that you were lying to yourself till then it’ll be too late and it will hurt you even more so its better to save yourself from all the pain (believe me life has too much in store for you).

Life has too many problems, to many issues to be dealt with. You’ll see success, failures, love, betrayal, friendship, animosity, pride, jealousy, happiness sadness, laughter and tears. All this is a part & parcel of life. We need to deal with them. We are faced with only those problems that we ca deal with. If we cannot, well, we need to learn how to face them. Whether we give up on everything that we’ve hoped & dreamed for or whether we stand up with even more vigor after falling down, the choice is ours. Things will work out, eventually.

Advertisements

My Life so My choices….

Hey , it’s not been long time .. but I there was too much of overflow of stuff building up inside and it all had to come out. Living in India ain’t easy especially belong to the middle class working people where all that matters to others is WHAT are YOU doing with your life. Their lives suck so they also try to ruin other people’s’ lives. I never understood the idea behind the phrase “what will people say” or “What will people think”. I mean WHO cares what others think. Who cares, what field I chose study in, Who cares if I love dancing, and choose to dance without inhibitions, who cares what clothes I wear as long as I am comfortable in them, who cares where I work and how much is my salary per month?? 

Well, according to my family our whole community does. It matters what you wore on someone’s wedding, what kind of jewelry you wore, how expensive your dress was, or how beautiful you look. I mean sometimes I seriously consider going against my family’s suggestions and wear a shorts and a t-shirt and turn up at someone’s wedding. It would be a nice little gossip conversation for the next few weddings..won’t it. I can just hear all the agony aunts whispering to each other “Did you see what Mrs.X’s daughter wearing at the wedding, God, she has no sense of what should be worn where”. My response, “well aunty why don’t you wear something appropriate your age rather than wearing what a 20-year-old would wear when even you grandchildren are between the ages of 15- 30, huh?”

I am 23, and no I am not embarrassed about how old am I, I don’t give a shit if People think that I am old enough to get married. WHY is it so difficult for them to see an unmarried girl once she’s completed her studies?? I mean just because I am done with my graduation doesn’t mean I’m ready for marriage. I spent the last 15 years of education to make something out of myself to see where I stand in the real world .. NOT GET MARRIED ..

That day out of nowhere, a conversation about buying a new TV ended up as a topic of discussion of my marriage giving me a deadline for the year by which I ought to be married. I mean can you please give m e a break!!! I DO NOT want to get married. I have a LIFE!! and I wanna live it. To the fullest. I want to do all those things I’ve never done.. like maybe travel, go jet skiing. go sky diving, get drunk with friends maybe, learn a new dance form or how to play a guitar or develop a new passion completely like maybe try my hand at photography, I want to learn how to ride a bike as in not a scooty but a bike the ones like guys ride, go on a cycling/biking trip. go for hiking, go to Goa maybe, I mean there is a HUGE list of things that I’d like to do.. stuff that can and should be done only when you’re young.. I’m not saying that we can’t do stuff once married. But then again who knows what kind of person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with. Our Indian Society is such that after marriage a girl’s life especially, is full of responsibilities, even if she has a job, the household responsibilities are hers to fulfill. When I tell my family , that I’ll marry a guy who himself helps me out with the household chores, he laugh at me saying that’s not what MEN do. Then, please enlighten me, is giving orders and being spoon fed and being treated like GOD is what men are used to doing. The only reason they’re used to being spoon fed is because that’s how they’ve been treated

I just don’t get why does everyone feel that I need to be taken care of. I am well-educated, working in a good company, having a good job, and above all I LIKE my job. I am earning not great but reasonably well enough that 2-3 years down the line even if there’s no one to take care of me, I will be able to take care of myself.
And as for the people, they don’t need to worry, I am not going to go to their house and ask them to support me. the don’t pay my bills. If they don’t understand, I don’t give a damn!!! But when your own family, thinks that the sooner you consider getting married and get married the better as someone can “TAKE CARE” of me.
IMG_1459
Thanks but no Thanks, I have a life of my own. I love it and I intend to live it to the fullest. Maybe not al my dreams, but I have responsibility to myself to fulfill my dreams, I don’t expect anyone to come fulfill my dreams for me. I have a list of things that I’d like to do and these are of more a priority than marriage is like
travel to North,
trek on snow-capped regions
go for river rafting in the Ganges,
try my hand at photography
go to Goa, with friends once,
go for paragliding, para-sailing, sky diving, snorkelling, scuba diving
learn how to swim
learn to ride a bike
go on a bike trip
learn at least one form of dance completely
If possible, learn how to surf
again if possible earn a diploma in dance

I agree, that maybe.. just maybe I may not be able to fulfill all of these, but I am sure, I will achieve most of them. There is life apart from marriage too. And it would be great if the some people keep their noses out of other people’s businesses. I believe no one’s gonna come and fulfill your dreams, You need to work towards it only then can you achieve it. One thing is people who themselves don’t have a life forbid you to dream, If you do manage to Dream, then they somehow try to forbid you from achieving it, by trapping you into some emotional crap.
You want something, FIGHT for it, You wanna live your dream work towards it. People are taunting you?? WHO gives a crap?? It’s the only thing they know how to do . i.e. TALK.. that is all they can do. Shut those people out. DO what makes YOU feel happy, makes you feel ALIVE, only then it will called LIFE, otherwise you’re just existing.. as means to provide satisfaction to people around you. You were not born to make the world happy. Live as per your choices. Its your life after all 🙂

Do yourself a favor… do something for that make YOU happy.. :)

Wow!! its been ages since I’ve written anything at all. I just realised I need to write more often just so as to keep myself sane. Such Life be!!!
I just couldn’t find anything to write about.. I am an average looking working class 24 year old. I don’t have a very happening life .. I don’t do clubbing, I am not fashion conscious.. and as far as gossip is concerned I just know about the Bollywood link ups & break ups. So sometimes I feel my life’s teeny bit boring.
Home to work and back. On the weekend if there’s a plan to meet up friends then cool or else I end up sitting at home doing nothing.
Few months back, I tried something different. Things weren’t that great when it came to personal or professional life. In other words, life sucked!!! I needed a break just to get away from everything. I didn’t know if I could stand one more taunt of how I am or the way my life’s shaping up or I could bear thinking about where I am actually headed.
So you see I just wanted a break from everything, I mean we all need a break once in a while from our routinely boring and monotonous lives. You see I have this personal checklist where I listed down things that I want to do before I die and if you need a shorter span of time there a few things I wish to do before I get married which at least I hope is not for the next few years (6-8 years give or take or maybe never hopefully)

IMG_1256
I went for this rafting trip with this group who organizes weekend trekking trips & stuff. I am sure you’ll must’ve come across many such groups. The point is I went alone for it. Just went. I called them a day before the trip and asked if they still had a seat available. Since I was travelling alone they said they could adjust me.

And THAT i think is one of the BEST decisions I’ve made in life. True, that most of the time I don’t know what I am doing. But this time I wasn’t thinking, I just went on a whim, and let me tell you I don’t know how to swim(Intend to learn it someday) and the reason I have procrastinating learning it because of my fear of drowning.

You see, most of the time I was so busy trying to make everyone around me happy that I didn’t know what made me happy, and with my work timings I don’t get much time to dance (one of my passions) except for weekends.
On this trip I did a lot of things that I didn’t think that I would’ve done in a long time. I went rafting, which is one of the to do things in my checklist, I overcame my fear of drowning, I jumped in the water (we had life-jackets :P) I rode a jet ski, I did kayaking, I met new people, I broke free from everyone and everything .. I was like this refreshing breath of fresh air. Like I saw the sun after living in a dark room for day, like being able to smile at nothing, And let me tell you it was the best feeling I had in a long long time.

I did not care that I went for the trip alone, I did not care that I didn’t know anyone. I just went for it. I realised that once in a while one needs to do something or the other that makes them feel happy. When i say happy, I don’t mean just the smile on your lips, I mean that smile that reaches your eyes and touches your soul, that feeling of bliss which makes u feel amazing from inside.
We’re always dependent on various aspects to make us happy, I’l be happy when I am at this positions, I’ll feel good if I get promoted or I’ll have good time when plans with my friends work out. Well, these are just excuses, it says that YOU are LAZY. Your happiness is in your hands, whether you feel good about yourself or not is all in your mind, and it is really not necessary that you need to be with someone to have a good time. Sometimes, alone time is all you need. Just you.
So do yourself a favor, do something nice .. not for someone else but for yourself. Its not a sin to be a little selfish. And your selfishness isn’t taking away anything from anyone. In fact, the happier you are, the more positive you will be, and the positive you are, you will automatically keep the people around you happy. Its simple really. We just make it complicated 😉

Break The Rules…….

Close your eyes, 

And shut out the world,

take a deep breath, 

And let the past fade away

let the tears fall, 

Cry till u feel there are no tears left 

Scream your lungs out, 

and let all your fears out 

Do what you feel like

that’s what’ll feel right

give a damn to what others think

their thinking is bullshit 

Turn a deaf ear to others’ demands

as they can’t fucking stand for even themselves

Your heart has been broken enough

High time you break some rules..

Feel your heart, 

listen to the rhythm of its beat, 

Notice how you breathe, 

feel the blood running through your veins

Pop in those earphones 

and pump up the volume,

Groove to the beats

And let the music take over you 

IMG_1459

Let your hair down 

And move your body to the tunes

Dance as no watching

or its your last dance 

Laugh your loudest, 

smile your widest, 

buy a new dress, 

or have a new haircut

Act weirdly & talk absurdly, 

take that camera

& pose for pictures stupidly,

Do whatever YOU feel like doing..

Flutter those lashes, 

& give that sexy smile, 

It dosen’t hurt anyone

Go on . go flirt a little…

If you love someone 

tell them “I LOVE YOU”

And if you hate someone, 

go tell them that in their face

What’s gone is gone 

and will never come back, 

What’s supposed to come will come

No one can stop that

Live this moment its only yours, 

And NO ONE can take it away from you, 

Right here Right now is a gift

Rightly called the present

Life’s pretty simple

So why complicate it?

Today might be your last 

So why not make full use of it…

Have no regrets, 

Have no fear, 

there may or may not be a better tomorrow

so live your fullest by today.. 😀

A few things I learnt 4m HARRY POTTER

I watched Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows- part 2 on 1st day 1st show :D…yes I did go wit a very heavy heart…as it was the last and final part of my THE favorite series…I have never followed anything so religiously as i did wit HP.

People (read family n friends) said m crazy (which is true if u know me) as I have already ALL the books more 10-15 times each (I don’t mind reading it again). Esp. my family asks what exactly do I get by reading it again and again and again and again. But what they don’t know is that I get to imagine my own world within the world. A world where magic, love, friendship, loyalty, sacrifice, good v/s evil wherein good always emerges as the winner exists. I know that I’m past that age of fantasizing kid or a teenager. But, I guess, everyone needs a change every once in a while. And what better way to read a book full of fantasy which takes you on an adventure of a lifetime.

Harry Potter taught me many valuable lessons in life. It made me believe in things that I never believed that they existed. here goes….

 

  • Stand up for your friends no matter what: The way Ron & Hermione are by Harry’s side is absolutely heart touching. Also, in the end when Lord Voldemort asks for Harry in return for everyone’s lives, his school dosen’t give him up (except the Slytherins, of course). They are ready to lay down their lives for him. It also shows that not only those who are best friends r by your side but also who are just friends are there by your side, that is something that Neville, Luna, and all many other Gryffindor, Ravenclaws & Hufflepuffs, proved to be in the end.
  • Stand up not just for your friends but also against them if need be: Neville stands up against the trio in the 1st part, so Gryffindor doesn’t get into more trouble(although if he would have known, he also would have gone with them, I’m sure). It is what Professor Dumbledore called “moral fibre” for which he gets 10 pts. 
  • Friendship is more important than ego: In the 4th part(Goblet of Fire) Ron gets jealous of Harry as he thought Harry entered the Triwizard Tournament without telling him. But when he realized his mistake, he wasn’t ashamed of going and saying SORRY. But I don’t know WHY people nowadays feel that by saying a SORRY and accepting their mistake they’ll lose their pride. In the 5th part (Order of Phoenix) Harry is angry with Ron & Hermione for not keeping him in the loop, but hey don’t say anything as they understand what he’s going through. Again in the last one, when Ron gets angry and leaves Harry and Hermione as he felt they’d forgotten him as he was injured and left them to go ahead with the plan of Horcruxes. But, as soon as he realized what mistake he committed, he tried every possible means of returning and was there till the end.

    totally LOVED this movie…                  

                 

     

  • Know what’s in your friend’s heart: Real friends don’t need to be told what their friends are going through, they somehow know it. E.g. Hermione knows about Harry’s feelings towards Ginny, Harry understands Ron’s & Hermione’s feelings for each other. Harry also understands that sometimes his popularity becomes too much to handle for Ron, but he ensures it dosen’t affect their friendship.
  • Status dosen’t matter: In almost every part, it has been seen that it dosen’t matter to Harry that Ron has a much lower status than he has in the wizarding world. Every holiday he looks forward to going to The Burrow to spend his summer vacations. Also, Neville who is the most clumsiest person & Luna who’s considered a weirdo become Harry’s best friends after Ron and Hermione. He dosen’t mind sitting with them in the same compartment in Hogwarts Express.
  • Sacrifice – look at the bigger picture: In the series we learn how Lily and James sacrifice their lives in protectin Harry. In the 1st part (Sorcerer’s stone) Ron sacrifices himself so that Harry can stop Voldemort. In the 5th part, Sirius dies protecting Harry. Also worth the mention is the sacrifice of Hermione, who wipes off her parents’ memories so that they can remain safe and knowing what she’s getting into, she knew she might not be alive so she makes them forget they have a daughter. Also, during the beginning of the last part, Ron, Hermione, Fleur, Fred & George willingly are ready to sacrifice their lives for Harry to bring Lord Voldemort down. And in the end so many people sacrificed themselves to protect their loved ones
  • People are not always what they seem: Wizard world considers giants brutal. But, I’m sure after reading the books, everyone will agree that Hagrid was far from it. Also, almost throughout the series Snape was considered evil, but he was the one who played a major part in the downfall of Voldemort.
  • Your choices make you who you are: Even though Harry was marked with traits of Slytherin, he CHOSE Gryffindor. He could have chosen Malfoy as his friend in the train, he could have been in Slytherin, he could also have gone to the Dark side, but he didn’t. That is what made him who he was.
  • Friendship, Respect and Loyalty are earned not demanded: Voldemort got his followers because some wanted his power, glory, money, or just to satisfy their need of pureblood mania or violence. But he never earned true loyalty. Harry earned respect and loyalty of his friends due to his pure valour, courage, bravery to stand up and fight the evil and he also in turn stood up by his friends. 
  • Good ALWAYS wins over Evil: Yep, I know I know its like a fairytale ending. But good does win over evil. Maybe not at the earliest but the end result is always the one in which Good emerges as the winner. Harry’s main battle started in the 5th part (Order of Phoenix) where he was called a liar, tortured by Umbridge (that b***h), but he still stood up for the truth. 

Well these are a few lessons I learnt from Harry Potter. Its not a waste of time and energy (like my family keeps reminding me :P). I have been reading its books and watching the movies since the past decade and I don’t care if people say that I have grown up, I’ll still read and watch them. Harry Potter series was, is and will remain my all time favourite series of books and movies. Also, what I think is worth mentioning are the main character of HP i.e. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Matthew Lewis, Bonnie Wright, Evanna Lynch, Tom Felton, James & Oliver Phelps, Richard Harris, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Helena Bonham Carter and of course who can forget the evil Ralph Fiennes. Warner Bros. casted the perfect actors for the characters. Every person did justice and gave a new life to the characters. They were the ones who made the world of Harry Potter all the more magical.

That’s all for now till my next post ..ciao 😀