My Life so My choices….

Hey , it’s not been long time .. but I there was too much of overflow of stuff building up inside and it all had to come out. Living in India ain’t easy especially belong to the middle class working people where all that matters to others is WHAT are YOU doing with your life. Their lives suck so they also try to ruin other people’s’ lives. I never understood the idea behind the phrase “what will people say” or “What will people think”. I mean WHO cares what others think. Who cares, what field I chose study in, Who cares if I love dancing, and choose to dance without inhibitions, who cares what clothes I wear as long as I am comfortable in them, who cares where I work and how much is my salary per month?? 

Well, according to my family our whole community does. It matters what you wore on someone’s wedding, what kind of jewelry you wore, how expensive your dress was, or how beautiful you look. I mean sometimes I seriously consider going against my family’s suggestions and wear a shorts and a t-shirt and turn up at someone’s wedding. It would be a nice little gossip conversation for the next few weddings..won’t it. I can just hear all the agony aunts whispering to each other “Did you see what Mrs.X’s daughter wearing at the wedding, God, she has no sense of what should be worn where”. My response, “well aunty why don’t you wear something appropriate your age rather than wearing what a 20-year-old would wear when even you grandchildren are between the ages of 15- 30, huh?”

I am 23, and no I am not embarrassed about how old am I, I don’t give a shit if People think that I am old enough to get married. WHY is it so difficult for them to see an unmarried girl once she’s completed her studies?? I mean just because I am done with my graduation doesn’t mean I’m ready for marriage. I spent the last 15 years of education to make something out of myself to see where I stand in the real world .. NOT GET MARRIED ..

That day out of nowhere, a conversation about buying a new TV ended up as a topic of discussion of my marriage giving me a deadline for the year by which I ought to be married. I mean can you please give m e a break!!! I DO NOT want to get married. I have a LIFE!! and I wanna live it. To the fullest. I want to do all those things I’ve never done.. like maybe travel, go jet skiing. go sky diving, get drunk with friends maybe, learn a new dance form or how to play a guitar or develop a new passion completely like maybe try my hand at photography, I want to learn how to ride a bike as in not a scooty but a bike the ones like guys ride, go on a cycling/biking trip. go for hiking, go to Goa maybe, I mean there is a HUGE list of things that I’d like to do.. stuff that can and should be done only when you’re young.. I’m not saying that we can’t do stuff once married. But then again who knows what kind of person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with. Our Indian Society is such that after marriage a girl’s life especially, is full of responsibilities, even if she has a job, the household responsibilities are hers to fulfill. When I tell my family , that I’ll marry a guy who himself helps me out with the household chores, he laugh at me saying that’s not what MEN do. Then, please enlighten me, is giving orders and being spoon fed and being treated like GOD is what men are used to doing. The only reason they’re used to being spoon fed is because that’s how they’ve been treated

I just don’t get why does everyone feel that I need to be taken care of. I am well-educated, working in a good company, having a good job, and above all I LIKE my job. I am earning not great but reasonably well enough that 2-3 years down the line even if there’s no one to take care of me, I will be able to take care of myself.
And as for the people, they don’t need to worry, I am not going to go to their house and ask them to support me. the don’t pay my bills. If they don’t understand, I don’t give a damn!!! But when your own family, thinks that the sooner you consider getting married and get married the better as someone can “TAKE CARE” of me.
Thanks but no Thanks, I have a life of my own. I love it and I intend to live it to the fullest. Maybe not al my dreams, but I have responsibility to myself to fulfill my dreams, I don’t expect anyone to come fulfill my dreams for me. I have a list of things that I’d like to do and these are of more a priority than marriage is like
travel to North,
trek on snow-capped regions
go for river rafting in the Ganges,
try my hand at photography
go to Goa, with friends once,
go for paragliding, para-sailing, sky diving, snorkelling, scuba diving
learn how to swim
learn to ride a bike
go on a bike trip
learn at least one form of dance completely
If possible, learn how to surf
again if possible earn a diploma in dance

I agree, that maybe.. just maybe I may not be able to fulfill all of these, but I am sure, I will achieve most of them. There is life apart from marriage too. And it would be great if the some people keep their noses out of other people’s businesses. I believe no one’s gonna come and fulfill your dreams, You need to work towards it only then can you achieve it. One thing is people who themselves don’t have a life forbid you to dream, If you do manage to Dream, then they somehow try to forbid you from achieving it, by trapping you into some emotional crap.
You want something, FIGHT for it, You wanna live your dream work towards it. People are taunting you?? WHO gives a crap?? It’s the only thing they know how to do . i.e. TALK.. that is all they can do. Shut those people out. DO what makes YOU feel happy, makes you feel ALIVE, only then it will called LIFE, otherwise you’re just existing.. as means to provide satisfaction to people around you. You were not born to make the world happy. Live as per your choices. Its your life after all 🙂


One thought on “My Life so My choices….

  1. Renuka. G says:

    every indian middle class girl can connect with the article that u have posted, as all of them face the same issues. to be honest i too face the same things. but your last paragraph has encouraged me a lot. it has really hit the right cord in my heart. thank you for writing such a beautiful article. i hope other girls of my age could also read n feel encouraged. thank you so very much….i look forward for u to post some more articles like this.

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