Things you need to do to move on in life

There are many times in our lives when we feel there is no hope left, or nothing is going our way, no one loves us, or the person we love doesn’t love us, feel betrayed, or lost. And believe me speaking from experience I know it’s going to happen way more than once in your life. There’ll be circumstances that break you, people who betray you, times where you feel you life’s going nowhere. You feel like a complete failure, like you’ve not achieved anything. You feel like giving up.

DON’T

Also do not expect someone to be there for you forever. I am not saying you won’t have friends and family by your side. Or they won’t help you out in any way they can. But trust me you will come across situations in life where you have to fight out on your own. You need to figure it out. If you expect to be spoon fed whenever you’re in a sticky situation in life, are the one who gives up easily.

YOU ARE A SCREW UP!! A. SCREW. UP. GET IT!! A BIG ONE AT THAT!!

You just CANNOT give up!! And when I’m writing it in Caps, please imagine me screaming coz that’s how I feel like doing when I feel like giving up. Let me tell you something about me. I’m an extremely emotional person. When I say emotional I mean it. I can kick someone’s ass if they screw with me but when I’m hurt from inside I cry .. like hell. I cry when I’m happy, sad, upset, angry, depressed, disappointed, or when someone I care about is disappointed in me, or they’re rude to me or wont talk to me. And most of the times even I feel that its pointless to waste tears on these little things. I mean .. hey, life’s supposed to be enjoyed not cried over!!!!

  1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself: I have this thing I used to do .. still do . feel sorry for myself for all the screw ups that are happening in my life. You know.. like why me ?? why did this person hurt me?? Or why was I betrayed? WHY was I lied to ? why did this tragedy happen to me ? and so on & so forth. You know it’s really not gonna make ANY difference to your life if you keep feeling sorry for yourself. It NEVER works. Someone broke your heart, get over them, cry over it once and for all and let it go, someone betrayed you or lied to you, fine, it’s not like we’re saints we’ve also hurt or lied to people, get over it, make better judgments next time. You lost someone, it will take time, but you’ll learn to live without that person (I lost my mum when I was 13.. today I’m 24). Take the good memories. The person you lost wouldn’t want you to stop living your life
  2. Start afresh: You think you failed in something you tried!! Well, news flash! We all fail in something or the other. At work, in relationships, in personal commitments, on deadlines, in exams, you name it. I bet everyone reading this will have failed at least once in something or the other in life. It’s NOT the end of the word guys!! Life’s boring without any struggles, you’ll never learn anything. So what if you’re learning the hard way, it’ll make you better at that thing more than anyone else. You failed an exam, ok, try harder the next time, you screwed up at work, analyze where you screwed up and work on it so you don’t make the same mistake again. Try.. keep trying till it doesn’t work it will work out. You took the job because you wanted to make something out of yourself, you had dreams, aspirations, goals…you’ve just started your journey and it ain’t gonna be easy. You are yet to achieve things in your life. Work towards them. You will soon enough. J
  3. Take up a hobby: I know things aren’t going great. But they get better sooner or later. They always do. Nothing in this life is permanent. Not even your life. There’s no point in being depressed about it. So take up a hobby to divert your mind, or take you mind off the things that worry you. Do something you like to do: read a book, cook/ eat your favorite food (order in, if you can’t cook), dance, listen to music, watch a movie (please don’t watch a depressing one, you’ll feel more depressed, preferably watch a comedy that loosens you up.
  4. Talk to someone: we human beings cannot survive in isolation. Remember school!! Humans are social animals. Yeah! It’s true. What good will it do to you by just talking you ask? Go try talking to someone.  Anyone. But someone who just doesn’t hear you out but LISTENS to you. Remember there’s a difference between hearing and listening. Also when you talk you feel better, you’re lightened up. If you bottle up your feelings inside you, it will be a disaster and the day you fill up that bottle more than its capacity, its gonna burst and all hell’s gonna break loose. And it’ll leave you more depressed than ever.
  5. Ask: for help, for opinions. There’s nothing to feel ashamed about asking for help. If you admire the way someone works ask for their help. If you think things didn’t work when you tried your way, try someone else’s way. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid. It just means you’ve accepted that you need help, and you’re ready to learn & improve.
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  6. Set up goals: Ok so you failed this time. Again. You tried what you thought will work in your favor but it didn’t. Fine. It’s ok. All’s not lost. Try again. Set up smaller goals this time. Everyday goals. Wake up every day with a goal in your mind. Something that will help you achieve your weekly goal then monthly then quarterly, half-yearly, yearly, and in the end your life’s goal. Things will work out.
  7. Write them down: just having goals isn’t enough. We as humans are big time procrastinators (hey I am, and I refuse to believe I’m the only one). We tend to “postpone” or “forget” things. And then when things work out e blame everyone but ourselves. So write it down, and ensure its somewhere that’s visible to you every day. If you look at what you need to do to achieve your goals every day, you will achieve them. That sheet of paper will remind you every now and then what is yet to be achieved.
  8. Stop expecting: stop expecting things from others. Just don’t. It’ll ease most of your worries. If you’ve done something nice doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you. If you’re polite doesn’t mean they’ll be the same to you, if you like spending time with them or talking to them doesn’t mean they do the same. Learn to figure out the signs. A person doesn’t talk to you? Cool. Let him be. There are other people who would talk to you. Don’t fret over whether or not you’ve done something wrong or why isn’t he/she talking to you? No point. If they’re not talking they’re not. You can’t force someone to like you nor can you force someone to make you a part of their life. If they want you they’ll also try to make things work, put in an effort. If not, then well its their loss.
  9. Smile: turn that frown upside down. Smile on the smallest of joke. Smile by remembering good memories, smile with the people you care about and who care about you. Try to smile even when you’re sad. This heart of ours is a little naive, if you keep telling it all is ok and try to smile that fake smile automatically becomes a real one as you begin to see a ray of hope once the tears are wiped off.
  10. Stop over assuming: hell stop assuming in the very first place. Stop assuming that, that the person who’s not giving you time ever is really busy. Open your eyes & ears. They DO NOT wanna talk to you or meet you or help you. It’s just an excuse. If you feel the person you knew hasn’t changed he just you know has different priorities now or has a different life or whatever. Then you are failing to see that the person has changed for you. Your priority level in that person’s life has diminished. If he/she isn’t responding to your calls or messages, that person does not WANT to respond. No one will be SO busy that they cannot call or reply back for days in a row. If they do not care about you, then you need to stop caring. Instead replace those kinds of people with the people who actually care about you and love you. STOP assuming that they still have place for you in their hearts, who are you kidding really?? No one but yourself and because you’re being blind to ALL the obvious signs, and refuse to accept the truth then it doesn’t mean that it’s not the truth and one day when a harsh situation hits you and THEN when you accept that you were lying to yourself till then it’ll be too late and it will hurt you even more so its better to save yourself from all the pain (believe me life has too much in store for you).

Life has too many problems, to many issues to be dealt with. You’ll see success, failures, love, betrayal, friendship, animosity, pride, jealousy, happiness sadness, laughter and tears. All this is a part & parcel of life. We need to deal with them. We are faced with only those problems that we ca deal with. If we cannot, well, we need to learn how to face them. Whether we give up on everything that we’ve hoped & dreamed for or whether we stand up with even more vigor after falling down, the choice is ours. Things will work out, eventually.

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My Life so My choices….

Hey , it’s not been long time .. but I there was too much of overflow of stuff building up inside and it all had to come out. Living in India ain’t easy especially belong to the middle class working people where all that matters to others is WHAT are YOU doing with your life. Their lives suck so they also try to ruin other people’s’ lives. I never understood the idea behind the phrase “what will people say” or “What will people think”. I mean WHO cares what others think. Who cares, what field I chose study in, Who cares if I love dancing, and choose to dance without inhibitions, who cares what clothes I wear as long as I am comfortable in them, who cares where I work and how much is my salary per month?? 

Well, according to my family our whole community does. It matters what you wore on someone’s wedding, what kind of jewelry you wore, how expensive your dress was, or how beautiful you look. I mean sometimes I seriously consider going against my family’s suggestions and wear a shorts and a t-shirt and turn up at someone’s wedding. It would be a nice little gossip conversation for the next few weddings..won’t it. I can just hear all the agony aunts whispering to each other “Did you see what Mrs.X’s daughter wearing at the wedding, God, she has no sense of what should be worn where”. My response, “well aunty why don’t you wear something appropriate your age rather than wearing what a 20-year-old would wear when even you grandchildren are between the ages of 15- 30, huh?”

I am 23, and no I am not embarrassed about how old am I, I don’t give a shit if People think that I am old enough to get married. WHY is it so difficult for them to see an unmarried girl once she’s completed her studies?? I mean just because I am done with my graduation doesn’t mean I’m ready for marriage. I spent the last 15 years of education to make something out of myself to see where I stand in the real world .. NOT GET MARRIED ..

That day out of nowhere, a conversation about buying a new TV ended up as a topic of discussion of my marriage giving me a deadline for the year by which I ought to be married. I mean can you please give m e a break!!! I DO NOT want to get married. I have a LIFE!! and I wanna live it. To the fullest. I want to do all those things I’ve never done.. like maybe travel, go jet skiing. go sky diving, get drunk with friends maybe, learn a new dance form or how to play a guitar or develop a new passion completely like maybe try my hand at photography, I want to learn how to ride a bike as in not a scooty but a bike the ones like guys ride, go on a cycling/biking trip. go for hiking, go to Goa maybe, I mean there is a HUGE list of things that I’d like to do.. stuff that can and should be done only when you’re young.. I’m not saying that we can’t do stuff once married. But then again who knows what kind of person you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with. Our Indian Society is such that after marriage a girl’s life especially, is full of responsibilities, even if she has a job, the household responsibilities are hers to fulfill. When I tell my family , that I’ll marry a guy who himself helps me out with the household chores, he laugh at me saying that’s not what MEN do. Then, please enlighten me, is giving orders and being spoon fed and being treated like GOD is what men are used to doing. The only reason they’re used to being spoon fed is because that’s how they’ve been treated

I just don’t get why does everyone feel that I need to be taken care of. I am well-educated, working in a good company, having a good job, and above all I LIKE my job. I am earning not great but reasonably well enough that 2-3 years down the line even if there’s no one to take care of me, I will be able to take care of myself.
And as for the people, they don’t need to worry, I am not going to go to their house and ask them to support me. the don’t pay my bills. If they don’t understand, I don’t give a damn!!! But when your own family, thinks that the sooner you consider getting married and get married the better as someone can “TAKE CARE” of me.
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Thanks but no Thanks, I have a life of my own. I love it and I intend to live it to the fullest. Maybe not al my dreams, but I have responsibility to myself to fulfill my dreams, I don’t expect anyone to come fulfill my dreams for me. I have a list of things that I’d like to do and these are of more a priority than marriage is like
travel to North,
trek on snow-capped regions
go for river rafting in the Ganges,
try my hand at photography
go to Goa, with friends once,
go for paragliding, para-sailing, sky diving, snorkelling, scuba diving
learn how to swim
learn to ride a bike
go on a bike trip
learn at least one form of dance completely
If possible, learn how to surf
again if possible earn a diploma in dance

I agree, that maybe.. just maybe I may not be able to fulfill all of these, but I am sure, I will achieve most of them. There is life apart from marriage too. And it would be great if the some people keep their noses out of other people’s businesses. I believe no one’s gonna come and fulfill your dreams, You need to work towards it only then can you achieve it. One thing is people who themselves don’t have a life forbid you to dream, If you do manage to Dream, then they somehow try to forbid you from achieving it, by trapping you into some emotional crap.
You want something, FIGHT for it, You wanna live your dream work towards it. People are taunting you?? WHO gives a crap?? It’s the only thing they know how to do . i.e. TALK.. that is all they can do. Shut those people out. DO what makes YOU feel happy, makes you feel ALIVE, only then it will called LIFE, otherwise you’re just existing.. as means to provide satisfaction to people around you. You were not born to make the world happy. Live as per your choices. Its your life after all 🙂

Do yourself a favor… do something for that make YOU happy.. :)

Wow!! its been ages since I’ve written anything at all. I just realised I need to write more often just so as to keep myself sane. Such Life be!!!
I just couldn’t find anything to write about.. I am an average looking working class 24 year old. I don’t have a very happening life .. I don’t do clubbing, I am not fashion conscious.. and as far as gossip is concerned I just know about the Bollywood link ups & break ups. So sometimes I feel my life’s teeny bit boring.
Home to work and back. On the weekend if there’s a plan to meet up friends then cool or else I end up sitting at home doing nothing.
Few months back, I tried something different. Things weren’t that great when it came to personal or professional life. In other words, life sucked!!! I needed a break just to get away from everything. I didn’t know if I could stand one more taunt of how I am or the way my life’s shaping up or I could bear thinking about where I am actually headed.
So you see I just wanted a break from everything, I mean we all need a break once in a while from our routinely boring and monotonous lives. You see I have this personal checklist where I listed down things that I want to do before I die and if you need a shorter span of time there a few things I wish to do before I get married which at least I hope is not for the next few years (6-8 years give or take or maybe never hopefully)

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I went for this rafting trip with this group who organizes weekend trekking trips & stuff. I am sure you’ll must’ve come across many such groups. The point is I went alone for it. Just went. I called them a day before the trip and asked if they still had a seat available. Since I was travelling alone they said they could adjust me.

And THAT i think is one of the BEST decisions I’ve made in life. True, that most of the time I don’t know what I am doing. But this time I wasn’t thinking, I just went on a whim, and let me tell you I don’t know how to swim(Intend to learn it someday) and the reason I have procrastinating learning it because of my fear of drowning.

You see, most of the time I was so busy trying to make everyone around me happy that I didn’t know what made me happy, and with my work timings I don’t get much time to dance (one of my passions) except for weekends.
On this trip I did a lot of things that I didn’t think that I would’ve done in a long time. I went rafting, which is one of the to do things in my checklist, I overcame my fear of drowning, I jumped in the water (we had life-jackets :P) I rode a jet ski, I did kayaking, I met new people, I broke free from everyone and everything .. I was like this refreshing breath of fresh air. Like I saw the sun after living in a dark room for day, like being able to smile at nothing, And let me tell you it was the best feeling I had in a long long time.

I did not care that I went for the trip alone, I did not care that I didn’t know anyone. I just went for it. I realised that once in a while one needs to do something or the other that makes them feel happy. When i say happy, I don’t mean just the smile on your lips, I mean that smile that reaches your eyes and touches your soul, that feeling of bliss which makes u feel amazing from inside.
We’re always dependent on various aspects to make us happy, I’l be happy when I am at this positions, I’ll feel good if I get promoted or I’ll have good time when plans with my friends work out. Well, these are just excuses, it says that YOU are LAZY. Your happiness is in your hands, whether you feel good about yourself or not is all in your mind, and it is really not necessary that you need to be with someone to have a good time. Sometimes, alone time is all you need. Just you.
So do yourself a favor, do something nice .. not for someone else but for yourself. Its not a sin to be a little selfish. And your selfishness isn’t taking away anything from anyone. In fact, the happier you are, the more positive you will be, and the positive you are, you will automatically keep the people around you happy. Its simple really. We just make it complicated 😉

Break The Rules…….

Close your eyes, 

And shut out the world,

take a deep breath, 

And let the past fade away

let the tears fall, 

Cry till u feel there are no tears left 

Scream your lungs out, 

and let all your fears out 

Do what you feel like

that’s what’ll feel right

give a damn to what others think

their thinking is bullshit 

Turn a deaf ear to others’ demands

as they can’t fucking stand for even themselves

Your heart has been broken enough

High time you break some rules..

Feel your heart, 

listen to the rhythm of its beat, 

Notice how you breathe, 

feel the blood running through your veins

Pop in those earphones 

and pump up the volume,

Groove to the beats

And let the music take over you 

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Let your hair down 

And move your body to the tunes

Dance as no watching

or its your last dance 

Laugh your loudest, 

smile your widest, 

buy a new dress, 

or have a new haircut

Act weirdly & talk absurdly, 

take that camera

& pose for pictures stupidly,

Do whatever YOU feel like doing..

Flutter those lashes, 

& give that sexy smile, 

It dosen’t hurt anyone

Go on . go flirt a little…

If you love someone 

tell them “I LOVE YOU”

And if you hate someone, 

go tell them that in their face

What’s gone is gone 

and will never come back, 

What’s supposed to come will come

No one can stop that

Live this moment its only yours, 

And NO ONE can take it away from you, 

Right here Right now is a gift

Rightly called the present

Life’s pretty simple

So why complicate it?

Today might be your last 

So why not make full use of it…

Have no regrets, 

Have no fear, 

there may or may not be a better tomorrow

so live your fullest by today.. 😀

The Wheel Of Time…

Well, here I am again… Actually, I thought of writing on how time changes everything around us. I started it as a poem… but .. well .. it turned out to be something a little different. But, then again , as they say sometimes there are no perfect endings, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle or an end. Well.. this is something in that category only..

 

 

Somewhere in the past. that is long lost now,

I remember playing the blind man’s buff game..

 

I vaguely remember, how I jumped at the mention of

my favorite chocolate or  ice cream& relished every bite of it..

 

But clearly I remember the time when realities hit my face, 

at an age where I was to enjoy, I grew up before time permitted

 

It was when I lost everything, I learnt of my existence, 

It was after losing myself, I found a new me…

 

All of it was a game, that time had played with me, 

It gave sorrows & tears, which hurt & pained…

 

But it also made up for what it did, 

it healed me & how?..It made me evermore stronger…

 

I loved & lost a loved one, I trusted & got betrayed, 

went through heartbreaking moments & those of weaknesses..

 

But somewhere in the darkness, I found a ray of hope, 

In the lost paths, I found my own destiny…

 

Between the tears, I stole a few smiles, 

In moments of pain, I found myself laughing on them..

 

And I realized that life goes on, 

the wheel of time keeps moving, never ever stopping..

 

Time showed everything, the good & bad, happiness & sorrows,

trust & betrayal, love  & hate, friendship & animosity, life & death…

 

It broke ..but healed too, there are time I wish..

I could go back and change the past

 

But then again that past itself is the reason of my existence, 

It made me what I am today & honestly I have no regrets..

 

My time may not be good now, but its not gonna be the same always, 

If it were good, still it wouldn’t last as Nothing lasts forever..

 

The wheel of time keeps moving, Now its upon us

whether we cry over what’s gone or go with the flow & move on with life… 

 

 

At the end of the choice is ours, decisions are ours. 

 

Somethings may not be under our control.

 

But how we handle ourselves under those circumstances IS under our control.

 

So Close Yet So Far…

They say when you truly love someone distances don’t matter. Sometimes they don’t, because even if the person is far away from you physically he/she resides in your heart and in spite of being far, they’re never really far. But, what happens when someone you love is close to you but still seems miles away? They’re right in front of you but you cant confess your love to them. They see you but still can’t see your feelings. And you’re left wondering whether they really don’t know about it or they just don’t wanna accept it. This is a little something that sums up the feeling.

 

I can feel your eyes on me, 

But I fear looking into them, 

Afraid I’ll lose myself in them, 

Without even knowing it…

 

I see you right in front of me, 

But can’t speak to you, 

For the fear of letting it slip, 

How I feel about you…

 

I know you’ve noticed me, 

But I wonder why don’t you show it, 

I can see you trying to figure me out, 

So why don’t you just read my eyes???

 

 

Why this feeling of emptiness?

Oh boy! You’ve made me such a mess, 

It drives me crazy that you can’t see, 

What I feel for you…

 

Is it that you’re unaware of my feelings

Or are you just pretending to be so???

You don’t know how much it breaks me inside

that you’re SO close to me ..yet .. SO far…

 

Lovestruck…

I  always thought I wasn’t the kind,

Who would go crazy for someone,

I lived in a world of my own,

Living life crazy and loud, 

And that’s when you came & changed everything…

 

Just that moment when on you I set my sight , 

My whole existence was shaken,

And that moment I realised,

My heart that I guarded so well ,

Had been taken…

 

When I wasn’t expecting,

You struck me like a lightning, 

It was so blinding,

Your charm was so stunning, 

That I didn’t see it coming, 

 

I wish I could explain, 

How amazing you make me feel, 

And when you’re with me baby, 

The only emotion I know is bliss,

And my smile just dosen’t disppear

 

I felt I was crushing for you

But it seems so much more than that,

I can feel the chemistry  between us,

And I know that steadily,

Oh boy, I’m falling hard for you …

 

I know I sound totally crazy, 

Its a shock that I could be so lovestruck, 

But who has been able to control their feelings

And with that killer of a smile of yours for me

What else was there that I could do…

 

Wish words could express

What my heart says ,

Look into my eyes, 

And you’ll know the depth

Of my love for you

 

Let the silence speak, 

Listen to my heartbeat, 

All it wants is that this moment doesn’t end

All I ask of you is

Just stay with me FOREVER…