There are many times in our lives when we feel there is no hope left, or nothing is going our way, no one loves us, or the person we love doesn’t love us, feel betrayed, or lost. And believe me speaking from experience I know it’s going to happen way more than once in your life. There’ll be circumstances that break you, people who betray you, times where you feel you life’s going nowhere. You feel like a complete failure, like you’ve not achieved anything. You feel like giving up.
Also do not expect someone to be there for you forever. I am not saying you won’t have friends and family by your side. Or they won’t help you out in any way they can. But trust me you will come across situations in life where you have to fight out on your own. You need to figure it out. If you expect to be spoon fed whenever you’re in a sticky situation in life, are the one who gives up easily.
YOU ARE A SCREW UP!! A. SCREW. UP. GET IT!! A BIG ONE AT THAT!!
You just CANNOT give up!! And when I’m writing it in Caps, please imagine me screaming coz that’s how I feel like doing when I feel like giving up. Let me tell you something about me. I’m an extremely emotional person. When I say emotional I mean it. I can kick someone’s ass if they screw with me but when I’m hurt from inside I cry .. like hell. I cry when I’m happy, sad, upset, angry, depressed, disappointed, or when someone I care about is disappointed in me, or they’re rude to me or wont talk to me. And most of the times even I feel that its pointless to waste tears on these little things. I mean .. hey, life’s supposed to be enjoyed not cried over!!!!
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself: I have this thing I used to do .. still do . feel sorry for myself for all the screw ups that are happening in my life. You know.. like why me ?? why did this person hurt me?? Or why was I betrayed? WHY was I lied to ? why did this tragedy happen to me ? and so on & so forth. You know it’s really not gonna make ANY difference to your life if you keep feeling sorry for yourself. It NEVER works. Someone broke your heart, get over them, cry over it once and for all and let it go, someone betrayed you or lied to you, fine, it’s not like we’re saints we’ve also hurt or lied to people, get over it, make better judgments next time. You lost someone, it will take time, but you’ll learn to live without that person (I lost my mum when I was 13.. today I’m 24). Take the good memories. The person you lost wouldn’t want you to stop living your life
- Start afresh: You think you failed in something you tried!! Well, news flash! We all fail in something or the other. At work, in relationships, in personal commitments, on deadlines, in exams, you name it. I bet everyone reading this will have failed at least once in something or the other in life. It’s NOT the end of the word guys!! Life’s boring without any struggles, you’ll never learn anything. So what if you’re learning the hard way, it’ll make you better at that thing more than anyone else. You failed an exam, ok, try harder the next time, you screwed up at work, analyze where you screwed up and work on it so you don’t make the same mistake again. Try.. keep trying till it doesn’t work it will work out. You took the job because you wanted to make something out of yourself, you had dreams, aspirations, goals…you’ve just started your journey and it ain’t gonna be easy. You are yet to achieve things in your life. Work towards them. You will soon enough. J
- Take up a hobby: I know things aren’t going great. But they get better sooner or later. They always do. Nothing in this life is permanent. Not even your life. There’s no point in being depressed about it. So take up a hobby to divert your mind, or take you mind off the things that worry you. Do something you like to do: read a book, cook/ eat your favorite food (order in, if you can’t cook), dance, listen to music, watch a movie (please don’t watch a depressing one, you’ll feel more depressed, preferably watch a comedy that loosens you up.
- Talk to someone: we human beings cannot survive in isolation. Remember school!! Humans are social animals. Yeah! It’s true. What good will it do to you by just talking you ask? Go try talking to someone. Anyone. But someone who just doesn’t hear you out but LISTENS to you. Remember there’s a difference between hearing and listening. Also when you talk you feel better, you’re lightened up. If you bottle up your feelings inside you, it will be a disaster and the day you fill up that bottle more than its capacity, its gonna burst and all hell’s gonna break loose. And it’ll leave you more depressed than ever.
- Ask: for help, for opinions. There’s nothing to feel ashamed about asking for help. If you admire the way someone works ask for their help. If you think things didn’t work when you tried your way, try someone else’s way. It’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or stupid. It just means you’ve accepted that you need help, and you’re ready to learn & improve.
- Set up goals: Ok so you failed this time. Again. You tried what you thought will work in your favor but it didn’t. Fine. It’s ok. All’s not lost. Try again. Set up smaller goals this time. Everyday goals. Wake up every day with a goal in your mind. Something that will help you achieve your weekly goal then monthly then quarterly, half-yearly, yearly, and in the end your life’s goal. Things will work out.
- Write them down: just having goals isn’t enough. We as humans are big time procrastinators (hey I am, and I refuse to believe I’m the only one). We tend to “postpone” or “forget” things. And then when things work out e blame everyone but ourselves. So write it down, and ensure its somewhere that’s visible to you every day. If you look at what you need to do to achieve your goals every day, you will achieve them. That sheet of paper will remind you every now and then what is yet to be achieved.
- Stop expecting: stop expecting things from others. Just don’t. It’ll ease most of your worries. If you’ve done something nice doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you. If you’re polite doesn’t mean they’ll be the same to you, if you like spending time with them or talking to them doesn’t mean they do the same. Learn to figure out the signs. A person doesn’t talk to you? Cool. Let him be. There are other people who would talk to you. Don’t fret over whether or not you’ve done something wrong or why isn’t he/she talking to you? No point. If they’re not talking they’re not. You can’t force someone to like you nor can you force someone to make you a part of their life. If they want you they’ll also try to make things work, put in an effort. If not, then well its their loss.
- Smile: turn that frown upside down. Smile on the smallest of joke. Smile by remembering good memories, smile with the people you care about and who care about you. Try to smile even when you’re sad. This heart of ours is a little naive, if you keep telling it all is ok and try to smile that fake smile automatically becomes a real one as you begin to see a ray of hope once the tears are wiped off.
- Stop over assuming: hell stop assuming in the very first place. Stop assuming that, that the person who’s not giving you time ever is really busy. Open your eyes & ears. They DO NOT wanna talk to you or meet you or help you. It’s just an excuse. If you feel the person you knew hasn’t changed he just you know has different priorities now or has a different life or whatever. Then you are failing to see that the person has changed for you. Your priority level in that person’s life has diminished. If he/she isn’t responding to your calls or messages, that person does not WANT to respond. No one will be SO busy that they cannot call or reply back for days in a row. If they do not care about you, then you need to stop caring. Instead replace those kinds of people with the people who actually care about you and love you. STOP assuming that they still have place for you in their hearts, who are you kidding really?? No one but yourself and because you’re being blind to ALL the obvious signs, and refuse to accept the truth then it doesn’t mean that it’s not the truth and one day when a harsh situation hits you and THEN when you accept that you were lying to yourself till then it’ll be too late and it will hurt you even more so its better to save yourself from all the pain (believe me life has too much in store for you).
Life has too many problems, to many issues to be dealt with. You’ll see success, failures, love, betrayal, friendship, animosity, pride, jealousy, happiness sadness, laughter and tears. All this is a part & parcel of life. We need to deal with them. We are faced with only those problems that we ca deal with. If we cannot, well, we need to learn how to face them. Whether we give up on everything that we’ve hoped & dreamed for or whether we stand up with even more vigor after falling down, the choice is ours. Things will work out, eventually.